Thank you for your response and questions to the last newsletter. I’d like to address and answer the questions that are relevant to how this partnership broke down because one of the partners was not being honest with who he wanted to be in his life, which caused a multi-million dollar loss in his business.
The distractions we cause to avoid our truth of who we are can be small to massive. I believe the bigger the chaos that is surrounding the individual is a big as the authentic gift is that needs to come out.
So that you may follow along, I’ve included the question by the interviewer and my answer below.
This partner had a huge multi-million dollar catastrophe on his hands. His fear was so great of telling his truth both to himself and to others, that he would rather attract in this huge distraction then admit #1) That he didn’t want to be married to his wife anymore because he was in love with someone else #2) That he wanted to pursue his passion in Politics and be willing to be honest with the owner of the company and allow the cards to fall where they may fall.
Forbes Interviewer: What causes a partnership to break down?
Monique: Resentment and things that are hidden. For example, I was working with a partnership in Colorado; there were an owner and four partners, and a huge stuck hospital project. It was a multi-million dollar media mess. The company had always had an outstanding reputation until now. I said to the owner, “I need to meet with the partner overseeing the project because his energy is on this project.” He replied, “He’s coming to dinner tonight to answer questions about why he feels he should be CEO of the company. I will call him now to confirm our meeting time and put him on speaker so that you may hear his voice.”
I receive a lot of information from listening to a person’s voice. For whatever reason, I’m able to access a part of my brain that allows me to know information about that person’s personality and historical information that is causing the product, project or business to become stuck now.
So the owner and the partner spoke on the phone and confirmed that they would see each other that night at 6:00. When the owner hung up, I said to him, “Two things. Number one, the guy has political aspirations, and that’s really why he wants to be CEO of the company. And number two, he’s having an affair.” The owner about fell on the floor. He said, “As far as the political aspirations, he has never mentioned it. And as far as the affair you are absolutely out of your mind! The guy is a Christian, deacon of his church he would never do such a thing!” I thought, “Give me a break; you gotta be kidding me.”
A couple of hours later, the partner showed up. I was introduced as a business consultant who was helping on some projects. The owner asked the partner if he would mind if I stayed and listened to the 35 questions and answers of why he felt he should be CEO of the company. He replied, “Of course not, that would be great!”
I knew the moment that I met this person that I had it nailed. So we sat and listened as the partner went through the answers to the questions of why he should be CEO of the company. At the end of it, the owner says to him, “I have a question for you.” The partner says, “shoot.” “Do you have political aspirations and that’s why you want to be CEO of the company?” The partner about fell out of his chair, turned beet red, coughed and said, “Yes, I do.” Mind you, that in none of the answers to his questions was there anything about Politics. The owner was furious (but, he didn’t show it). However, he remained calm…this person was a Vietnam fighter pilot and stays cool under the most dire circumstances.
For about six months the owner kept reiterating to me that I was wrong about the affair. I stuck to my guns and would reply, “No I am not.” Three months after that, the owner came back to me and said you were right. It turned out that he’d had been having an affair for a couple of years.
The important part: This partner was overseeing the hospital project, it was a massive media mess, it was an embarrassment to the company, and he was hiding a lot of stuff. When you’re hiding things, your energy begins to emanate differently, and things will get hidden from you. Keep in mind, I have zero judgment on what this guy was doing, my interests is in identifying what has the project stuck, what is affecting the business and getting into turning it around ASAP. The fact that this guy had two circumstances that he was hiding; can you imagine the tap dance that he had to do from covering up an affair to wanting to use the company for his political gain? That’s a lot of tap dancing. No wonder this hospital project became massively stuck!
So, the breakdown comes when one of the partners is somehow not being upfront and authentic, by not telling the truth of who they are inside, their inside self. Affairs of the heart are so powerful, and the energy that comes from that is powerful energy that you’re vibrating. You’re going to attract people and events that are vibrationally frequency-specific to what you’re emanating. Its atoms and molecules, it’s science, and there’s no mystery to it. My expertise is in zeroing in on how those atoms are not lining up. I always say, “It’s the personal stuff that gets the business stuff blocked.” When we think we have to be different to please other people that means you’re not authentically vibrating from a position of power. So that causes partnerships to break down for sure.
Living in chaos (inner or outer), turmoil and lack of fulfillment would seemingly be way scarier than simply being truthful. But, perhaps this person was so afraid of the unknown he’d rather revert to his past (what he knows – hiding who he really is) because he is chemically addicted to the emotions of his past. I happen to know that this person father was in Politics, maybe he somehow got the message as a kid that he was not cut out for Politics but, his father was, so he secretly shoved that message down that is now causing chaos in his life now.
There is a part of your brain that keeps you “safe” on a daily basis. This part of the brain, THE NEOCORTEX evaluates and determines the environment by what is familiar.
What feels good what feels bad – the known.
Anything that is unfamiliar — it does not like it. It won’t allow you to go there. It forms a box in the brain which becomes the personality (who you are). It keeps you safe, in familiar territory and in the same routine.
So, the idea of wealth, happiness, greatness, A NEW YOU, etc. on an ongoing basis – is outside of the personality in the brain. The idea of a future that you have not lived is outside of the neo-cortex.
So, what happens is that you determine reality based on your feelings(which are really just chemicals flowing through your body) if you can NOT predict how you will feel(in the new experience) – the neo-cortex will keep you safe — it will keep you in the same reality that you are currently experiencing.
If you cannot predict how the new experience will feel – the neo-cortex may keep you from having the new experience.
So I feel, the chemical addiction to the past as well as the neo-cortex’s involvement caused all of this havoc. Too bad all of this honesty couldn’t have come out earlier. Maybe that hospital project wouldn’t have become so stuck and could have gone on to become a facility that helped many people.
What am I hiding about myself that I need to allow to come out, in order to live more in my truth, honor my life and be authentic?
How can I take one step today toward being who I am? Is there something that I need to admit to my inner most self? To a business partner?
Who am I really?
What distractions have I caused in my life right now that are keeping me from really focusing on myself and my dreams?
ANSWER: I’m hiding the fact that …
If I could snap my fingers in an instant, what my life would look like.
Who I would be.
What I would be doing.
What my day would look like.
For some people, it’s the voices of that past of “What other people will think” that keeps us stuck. So they stay in people pleasing and hiding. For others, it’s the fear of making a mistake and looking stupid or maybe their dreams don’t matter and for others its simply the fear of being alone.
You get to ask yourself, “Do I want to honor the past or honor me – the unknown?”
I will leave you with a poem I wrote years ago titled MY TRUTH
I will live each moment fully by expressing my truth.
I will not leave this world having hidden my light.
I will not leave without fully communicating my truths,
feelings, desires, passions, love and insights.
What a shame it would be if I left here
and I never let anyone know who I truly was or
where I was truly coming from.
My truth is my contribution to the world.
By expressing who I am,
I contribute to the world and I honor my being and my soul,
that’s what I’m supposed to do.
My future can be seen by the truths I plant today.
What truths am I planting mentally, physically, spiritually,
verbally, in my relationships, and in my career?
By expressing my truth, the universe will rush in to support me.
Since, I am fully committed to expressing who I am in all areas,
this creates fun, excitement, passion, adventure and a sense of living on the edge.
I never know what will happen next!
Living in safety — not expressing myself, my feelings who my being is–
makes life safe, predictable and boring.
It also gives me a false sense of control,
that somehow, if I behave or express my feelings in a certain way,
I would be able to predict and control the future.
Not only is that not true, but
I am tap dancing to the beat of someone else’s music – which –
diminishes my power, my life and myself.
Others can tap dance to my music or along with me,
but, I will not tap dance to their music unless I like and I choose it.
I can either live in my light and life or I can live in someone else’s.
To live in someone else’s truth is a dull existence — which for me is a slow death!
I’m either honoring me or honoring them.
I would much rather honor and express myself,
knowing when I leave this world I will have fully expressed my soul!!
— Monique Guild, copyright 2000